I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
