We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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