The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
