You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
