I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
