There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
