But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
