Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
