Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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