ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
