I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
