no you cant smoke seaweed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found your dick twin last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
