the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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