Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
