I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
