I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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