shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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