Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
