So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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