i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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