I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
