My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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