he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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