I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
