I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
