Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
