dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
