he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
