You made me cry and you don't even care
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
