is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
