Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
