i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
