Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
