i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
