We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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