Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
