He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
