You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
