do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
