thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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