alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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