Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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