HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You ate ashes out of my bong
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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