wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
