Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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