Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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