Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
