Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dick very happy bro
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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