adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize