I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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