just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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