Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
